More realizations. An ongoing theme.

So, I've come to another realization. My next realization is that I'm in a personal rut. I'm in the limbo of living at home with my parents and being an undergrad student, and being accepted to a graduate program and possibly living on my own. I was content with this, but lately I've been lethargic, having a loss of appetite, and generally not wanting to go out and do much unless it's with Adam. I'm not happy being like this. It's not at all like me, and it's bothering me terribly. I've been leaning on excuses like "I don't like drinking" or "It's too cold to go do anything" to keep me inside and comfy. But I'm done.  I've decided to make this post to let everyone know that if they want, they can force me to get up and going (whether with them, or alone). I'm going to look in to things I can do, even in this shitty weather, and try to get up and do something every day. I'm going to try not to spend too much money, so let's see what kind of a list I can build up:

• Go rock climbing at Kendall Cliffs
• Go to indoor batting cages at Batting Cages at Brecksville
• Go see a movie (alone or with someone). Going solo shouldn't hold me back. 
• Go shopping (always happy to do that). 
• Go for a walk, even in the chilly damp weather. 
• Go work out at the Y. 
• Go to a coffee shop and read or study. 
• Seek out people to go for drinks with, or to see a live jazz band with. 
• Go visit your friends at their houses (maybe even up to 2 or more hours away). 
• Take a weekend off from visiting Adam and go do something else.
• Seek out dancing opportunities. 

How do YOU get out of a rut? If anyone has any more ideas for me, something new to do, please let me know! I'm gonna need that little push, I think, to get me going. I'll take all the help I can get!

"I Cannot Plan My Destiny, Therefore I Do Not Plan My Future"

I'm the kind of person who knows what she wants to do, what it takes to get there, and what the typical time frame to get there is.

This past year, I didn't get in to grad school. This threw off my original plan of becoming a speech-language pathologist by one school year (typically takes 2.5 years after graduation from undergrad). After feeling terrible about myself, but realizing it's not a big deal, I took a year off to improve my grades, get a job to save up some money, and improve my resume. 

Over the past few months, I've been stumbling on some articles and blogs about how your 20s are all about being able to do anything that you want to do and not having to worry about things like a family or expenses. My friend posted a link to this blog http://milkthepigeon.com/ (more particularly this post "The 8 Biggest Mistakes You Can Make in Your 20s" and I read the entire thing. Given, I'm not making any of these "mistakes" in my 20s, because I know what I want to do, but I AM settled in to my lifestyle.
 
I expect to go to grad school, graduate, get a job relatively quickly, then maybe get married and start a family (I'd like to start having kids in my 20s, I'm not big on having kids in your 30s, but maybe my thoughts will change). I've had this in my mind for years, but reading these blogs and articles got me thinking. Am I doing this wrong? Even though I know what I want to do, should I put it off for a few years to travel and live on the edge? Am I going to regret not doing whatever I "want to do" (aka wouldn't normally do) when I'm older?

I've never been one to live on the edge, drop everything and go to Thailand, move out to a new city with $1000 to my name. I like going somewhere for a week or two, then coming back to my normal life. My boyfriend on the other hand, has been to over 40 countries, he's lived alone in a foreign country for about a year combined. He doesn't exactly know what he wants to do professionally, but he's got an idea. The thought of settling down in his 20s kind of throws him for a loop.

What I'm kind of trying to get at is that I don't know what I should do. I know what I NEED to do to become what I WANT. But do I need to rethink my set time frame that I've kind of created for myself, step back and smell the flowers of Hawaii?

What's realistic? I know that these articles and blogs don't have to apply to me. But it's something I never thought about before. My friends' travels sometimes leave me yearning for that lifestyle, but I know I'd be just as content as a professional, pursuing a job I love.

I just don't want to have regrets. 

Drop everything and do this?

Continue my hard work for my passion?

Everyone's Dream

Today, I woke up thin. It's a young woman's dream to be able to just wake up thin. But I don't want to be thin, I want to be fit.

I usually wake up and take a look at myself, just getting to know me. I take a side view,  looking at my abdomen, stretching a little, and usually there's a tiny bit of pudge in my lower belly. Today was different. There wasn't much of a pudge at all, and my arms definitely looked thin. I felt like the touched up version of Jennifer Lawrence on magazine covers. I want to be like the normal version of Jennifer Lawrence (given, I don't have such curves as her, and probably never will, but you get the point).

I usually love to show off my arms, especially in wife beater style tanks in the summer. I like when they're toned and you can see the little muscles that I have. But today, they just looked nasty and thin.

I know that when you wake up in the morning, you're usually taller and thinner, thanks to gravity and having not eaten all those fatty foods that bloat you and sit in your stomach for hours. Today just felt different.

I have been aware that I haven't been eating much lately. I'm more of a grazer, snacking all day. The past few days, I haven't had much of an appetite at all, except for cereal and sweets. I've tried to make myself eat something healthy like fruits, but I can only eat so much when I'm not feeling hungry.

I also got sick my first time working night shift, so there goes eating for those 8 hours.

I did Zumba yesterday and boy did my midsection burn. My resolution from waking up this morning is to try to eat better (and more), and to build up my muscle mass to what it used to be. I can feel myself withering away, and I don't like it. I've never wanted to be skinny (No, I don't want to be fat, but I feel like women should be soft, even if they do have a bit of muscle). I just want to be healthy, and today was my wake up call.

Anyone have health tips? I was thinking of just putting mostly fruits and veggies in my lunch, along with my normal PB&J sandiwich (going against my sweet tooth), working out by lifting weights and doing a little bit of cardio and core, and I was thinking of adding a protein shake to my day. Any opinions on protein shakes??

Just Hanging Out

Hi! Katie here! Just "hanging out" and watching What Not to Wear. This show is so good, and I feel like I've picked up a lot of tips that I can use for myself, as well as to give advice to others. As promised, I took a picture of my new pink dress pants when I wore them to work for the first time. I got a ton of compliments and am going to have fun trying to figure out what to pair with them! I learned that I need to take better selfies, because you can't see my shoes in this pic! Also, my clothes aren't styled as well as I would like them to be. Things to work on! Next topic!

Button Down: Rando department store, Cardigan: Express, Pink Dress Pants: Express

 

So, the main point of this post is to expand on a realization that I had a few days ago. I think I've posted before about how I barely hang out with my friends anymore, and I've finally figured out why. 

Do your parents ever just "hang out" with their buddies at each others' houses a few times a week? My guess is probably not. It's because they have jobs, families, responsibilities, and are no doubt exhausted. I have spent the past few months agonizing over the thoughts of "I hope my friends don't hate me...I hope they don't think I'm avoiding them..." After a conversation about it with a smart person who helps me figure out what I'm thinking (my boyfriend), I realized that I've become an adult, like my parents, and it's inevitable.

We're out of college, where time spent living with our friends, a literal unending hangout, is now spent apart. We have jobs, many of us 30 or more hours per week. Now lets see what else I want to fit in to my work week: exercise (ha), applying to grad school or other jobs, shopping, errands, and most importantly sleep. I don't know about you, but when I get home from work, I'm beat. I can't wait to be able to sleep in the next morning, and I often just want to get to bed, even if it happens to be 4 pm. If I end up not fitting these things in to my work week, they flow over to the weekend (every other of which is spent at work, on my part). 

Adult life is spent working, then alone, perhaps with family or a loved one after hours. There are always exceptions to the rule (it sure seems like a rule at this point), but I'd say the norm is usually as previously stated. The only time my mom "hangs out" with her friends is when she goes on an annual weekend trip to Put-In-Bay (20+ years!), and maybe if someone is having a party of sorts. My dad sees his friends maybe once or twice a year. Simple observations.

I know that I am nowhere near having a family, or having to run a household (thank you mommy and daddy), but I do know that I'm in the mindset where just "hanging out" on a day off seems like I could be using my time better, and frankly, I'm not usually in the mood to "hang out", for some reason. Every now and then, I'll feel like I want to go shopping, or go to a bar or an event. That's maybe two or three times a month. I'd like to try to do these things, but again, schedules vary, interests vary, and over all, it's kind of a pain. Who thought hanging out with friends would be hard?! When I think of adults hanging out, my mind goes to TV shows like The Newsroom, in which most of the time people go out with their co-workers to a bar after a long and often trying day of work. Aside from Friends, I can't think of shows where adults just sit around at each others' houses, shooting the breeze.

I'm not saying that I don't want to hang out. And I'm not saying that I'm not willing to try. I'm just at a realization that growing up means not seeing your friends as often, and taking a whole lot of me time. I'm also thankful that many of my friends have come to this, kind of sad, realization. But I know we'll get through it. I mean, we did complete IS together.

Moral of the story: I still enjoy going out with friends, mostly at night. Let's go dancing, to a jazz club, go on a day/weekend trip, out for drinks, to the movies, or to a baseball game. I know much of it costs money, but it's not expensive. Plus, jobs!